Twenty Ways to Mend a Broken Heart
by Minstrel of the Mint
Summary: SRMTHFG! STYLE! . . . Well, sort of. I have some referances to the monkey team on this, so yeah.


Me: Fun list-thing I thought of while doing my homework and listening to Pink. (So What) I need to write an advice column for my Language Arts class, and I decided to do one on love. While working on ideas, I was listening to the radio and then Pink came on.

So, simple enough: Twenty Easy Ways to Mend a Broken Heart (SRMTHFG Style!) Relax, it's for girls AND boys. ;) Another thing to note, I wouldn't do these _in order_. I'd just read over them for a few laughs and see which is best for your situation.

Let us begin!!

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20: **Cry it out.** The more you cry _now_, the less you'll cry later. Just don't cry so much that you annoy your brainiac monkey brother so that he can think of reasons to turn you into a plant.

19: **Think of ways he/she wasn't good for you.** Think about the flaws you had in your relationship and how what happened was for the best. Maybe he/she had a few anger problems. . . and the giant metal fists and martial arts skills didn't help you in the slightest.

18: **Get rid of ALL the evidence that you two were together.** Memories can come back to you, whether you want them to or not, and bad memories while in a heart-broken stage will make you feel worse. Burn pictures, get rid of all the gifts he/she gave to you, and find a place to hide some things you want to keep so that a certain red monkey won't annoy you with it.

17: **Have fun as much as you can.** Let's face it, no one can deal with a sad-sack while they're at a party or something. Try to be as perky as you can and don't be a downer. People might see that you're too weak to move on. Show that you can have fun without that person, and you'll increase your chance of getting together with someone else sooner than you'd expect.

16: **Sing!** Statistics show that people who sing are more optimistic about life. Something about your blood stream or I don't know what. And don't go around the Super Robot asking to find out! That blue monkey knows more than he should. . .

15: **Chill with friends.** You'll always have your friend's shoulders to cry on: they'll support you, they'll talk trash about the guy/girl who broke up with you to make you feel better. Heck, they might even pull out a bazooka just for the fun of it.

14: Not my best idea, but my favorite! **BREAK THINGS!** Just go into your back yard, grab a big ol' stick, and _THWACK!_ Hit a tree! It's a free country, and a good way to let go of your anger. A yellow monkey I know breaks things all the time, and look at her! :)

13: **Enjoy your hobbies.** Doing things you love to do will make you happy. Happiness is something you'll require to get over a broken heart. Just make sure you don't destroy your town with your drill hands, metallic fists, big magnets, ghost claws. . . You get the idea.

12: **Listen to fun music.** Listen to things that'll make you want to dance, sing, or rant about how bad that person was for you. (Ex: Pink, So What. . . I'm addicted to that song right now.) Music is expressions and feelings that you can listen to without falling asleep.

11: **Flirt like there's no tomorrow!** After your heart is ready for another one to step into your life, show how much you don't care about that person now. It will show how strong you are and how much he/she will regret breaking up with you in the first place because they'll see how much you're living without them.

10**: If you have pets, play with them!** The good thing about pets is that they'll always stick by your side. They're loyal, they're fun, and they'll love you no matter what. Statistics also show that 80 percent of people who have pets are a little more relaxed. Just make sure your pet doesn't lick you on a minutely basis like Thingy.

9: **Talk it out.** The more you talk about it, the less pressure you'll feel on your shoulders. Saying something like "I don't wanna talk about it," is mostly the opposite of what you want, whether you know it or not. Talking will clear your head, so TALK+GOOD LISTENER=HAPPY!

8: **Have family with you at all times! **Family, like how I mentioned at tip ten, will never leave you because you're sad. They'll understand you no matter how out of whack your opinions are. They might even go out and hunt for the boy/girl who broke your heart and dangle them from the top of Shuggazoom City.

7: **Clean things up.** This is sorta the opposite of number 14. Believe it or not, cleaning things can actually calm you down and give that "Ooh, look. I cleaned up my room and now I'm happy" feeling. Who doesn't love that complicatedly named feeling?

5: Another personal favorite: **Watch AFV. **(America's Funniest Home Videos.) No matter how cruel and confusing their videos are, they're funny as heck and I watch it almost every Sunday night. (But then it turns into that lame _700 Show_ that no one cares about.) Laughing is good for you! If AFV doesn't work out, watch that darned red monkey and laugh harder. Just make sure your gut doesn't explode from over-laughing. (The surgury was AWFUL.)

5: **Challenge yourself. **This is probably the best way I could put it. Solve riddles, notice things that you didn't care about before, and so on. Now that he/her is out of your life, you can see clearer now. (Ex: The number six isn't on this list. If you noticed that, you're cured! If not, FAIL!)

4: **Listen to your heart. . .** Ugh, that was cheesy. What it means is that you should do what you feel is right with that person. If you feel you shouldn't ever speak to that person ever again, _zip it!_ If you feel that you should get back together, just. . . don't drop to your knees and beg. Even Mandarin isn't that desperate to get with someone. . .

_NOTE: THE LAST TWO ARE BIG NO-NO'S THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER DO WHILE IN THE BREAK-UP SERIES OF YOUR LIFE!_

3: **DON'T PUSH IT! **Don't go prancing around in your underpants, yelling, "SWEET FREEDOM!" That's a pride and dignity boo-boo right there. Be cool and calm about your break-up. People now are really inerested into people with "Antauri-like" attitudes. . .

2: **Don't obsess over your ex.** It's scary and wrong. Enough said.

1: **Be proud that you're controling the situation.** A lot of people wouldn't even bother getting over their ex but _you!_ YOU decided to do something about it and that's better than slowly rotting underneath your bed.

People will always love you no matter what, and don't say that no one loves you because, well, that's just not right. If you didn't find what you're looking for, send me a PM about a break-up you're not over yet and I'll do as much as I can.

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Me: Done. . . Please don't flame, for I will dowse my lap-top with water. I don't care if it _is _an electronic, flames hurt and you know it. Love you all! _;)_

PS: If you could, please check out my forum called: 1000 Words of Romance.


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